How To Lose Weight

So, it's January, swimsuit season is only 5 months away and everyone wants to lose weight. Like most people I have tried a lot of diets over the years with varying degrees of success. But now I have the answer. The diet I am about to lay out for you is guaranteed to promote permanent weight loss.

Everything you will eat on this diet can be grown and harvested locally and sustainably. Free Range, Organic, Cage Free, Vegan, Pesticide Free, you name it.

Before I share this tremendous weight loss secret with you, let me explain how I came to embrace this new lifestyle regimen. 

First, my husband read "Fast Food Nation" (Eric Schlosser) and watched "Supersize Me" (Morgan Spurlock) . This pretty much knocked out all fast food and put high fructose corn syrup on our radar. Next came "The Botony of Desire" (Michael Pollan). Exit potatoes and most other vegetables and fruit - too many pesticides and too little biodiversity. Follow that with the movies "King Corn" (Ian Cheney and Curtis Ellis) and "Food Inc."  (Robert Kenner and Eric Schlosser) and the books "The End Of Oil" (Paul Roberts) and "The Omnivore's Dilemma" (Michael Pollan).  

By the time we finished those, we were off all meat and fish (animal cruelty issues, hormones and antibiotics, ecoli, mercury), couldn't, in good conscience, eat anything that had been transported more than 30 miles (petroleum issues), couldn't eat anything packaged in plastic (again petroleum issues - as well as that giant garbage patch in the ocean), and couldn't eat wheat, soy, or corn (agribusiness abuses and allergies). 

That last one will really get you. Get a list of all the things wheat, corn and soy can be turned into (Ascorbic Acid, Malt Extract, Hydrolyzed Vegetable Protein, Mono-Diglyceride to name a few) and then go to the supermarket and read labels. If you can find a single prepackaged product that contains none of these ingredients let me know. I couldn't.

So what are we left with? What miracle food have I discovered that the responsible, educated consumer can eat?


Yep, twigs. 

That's my new diet - "Twigatarian"

Readily available, cheap (free), full of fiber, humane.

And I promise you'll lose plenty of weight. 

DISCLAIMER: The above commentary is for satirical purposes only and should not be construed as a medically sound diet.

All joking aside, I now have enough information about my food choices that I can no longer turn a blind eye to what I eat. I don't like vegetables enough to jump into being a vegetarian (so there's no way on earth I would make it as a vegan) but I may wind up going that route. I am currently not in an economic bracket that allows me to eat only organic, sustainable, local, grass fed etc., etc. But I am going to do my best this year to reward companies with best practices and deny the abusers the benefit of pocketing my hard earned dollar. Of all the books and movies I listed above, "Food Inc." actually gave me some hope that consumers can make a difference if they take the time and energy to do so.

While I really don't condone a diet of twigs, I do suggest you take a minute and check out the websites I linked to - maybe it will make a difference.

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